‘Scream 7’ movie review: Neve Campbell’s return cannot fire up this damp squib

When a character says “Let us Agatha Christie the suspects” in Scream 7, a faint flicker of interest is ignited at the Queen of Crime being made a verb. There are images zooming through the mind of the guilty group in a gracious room with the detective pointing the needle of suspicion at everyone till the villain collapses under the burden of proof, accusations and a practically incomprehensible accent.

When the suspects are gathered at a diner, we are still willing to be surprised because naturally gracious manor houses are in short supply in Indiana. However, when the meeting collapses into an anaemic murder spree, you are sorely disappointed, sadly bidding Hercule Poirot and his little grey cells farewell.

Scream 7 begins like all the movies in the franchise, with people being hunted down by a slasher film fan. This time it is Stab franchise fan, Scott (Jimmy Tatro) and his girlfriend Madison (Michelle Randolph), visiting one of the original Ghostface killers, Stu Macher’s (Matthew Lillard) house in Woodsboro, and after several fake Ghostfaces, they are done in by the real thing.

Meanwhile, Final Girl, Sidney (Neve Campbell), has moved to Pine Grove, Indiana. She lives a quiet life, married to a police officer, Mark Evans (Joel McHale), running a coffee shop and caring for their children, including 17 year old Tatum (Isabel May), who rebels against her mother’s overprotectiveness.

A still from the film
| Photo Credit:
Paramount Pictures

Suddenly there are murders happening all over town and a profusion of Ghostfaces. Incidentally, how do the masks stay in place despite all the running, jumping and thumping? Is it tight-fitting, really snug, or glued on?

One of the killings on a college theatrical set of Peter Pan was innovative. Apart from that, everything about Scream 7 is dull as a butter knife with a muddled jumble of plot strands that go nowhere and suspects who are killed off even before they are fully presented as options.

Apart from Campbell (who was not part of Scream VI because of a pay dispute) several members of the cast from earlier films, including Jasmin Savoy Brown as Mindy, a recent survivor, Mason Gooding as Chad, her twin brother, Roger L. Jackson as the voice of Ghostface and Courteney Cox as television reporter Gale Weathers, reprise their roles.

Scream 7 despite seeing the return of so many members of the cast, is unable to recreate the meta magic of the 1996 original (30 years ago!), which is cause enough to scream in frustration.

Scream 7 is currently running in theatres